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Greyhound Humor: Tucson Drama Queen 2009/09/13

Posted by Drama Queeen in Drama Queen.
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Lily, the reluctant goofy greyhound

Lily, the reluctant goofy greyhound


Fans, it’s been awhile. Mama Karyn doesn’t let me near the computer. Now she’s on FaceBook and wastes more time than usual. Is that possible?

Last week I counter surfed and scored a delicious treat – span-a-ko-pita, but more about that later.

It’s been a long hot summer. Did I say hot, hot, hot? I had to wear my Storm Defender cape a lot because it lightened and thundered but that did not always bring rain.

Mama Karyn is nuts. I always thought so but now it’s confirmed.

One night when it was raining really hard, mama Karyn went outside on the patio wearing only a t-shirt and panties and danced around…by herself.

She wanted me to come too but no way. She was laughing and yelling, “RAIN BABY RAIN.” What will the neighbors think? She came back in the house soaking wet, wrapped herself in a towel, and drank a beer. I just looked on in disgust. Is that any way for an aging baby boomer to act? Where’s the AARP police when you need them?

But back to moi – Once a month, I go to see Dr. Janet at Sunrise Pet Clinic  for my acupuncture and cold laser therapy treatment. I am happy to report that my beautiful back legs have not splayed for two months.

In July, mama Karyn went on a vacation…without me. Marilyn my dog sitter stays with me when mama Karyn leaves. Marilyn is truly my love slave. She massages me twice a day and continually grooms me and adores me unlike Karyn who mostly just ignores me. We sit outside a lot because Marilyn smokes like a chimney.

One day Marilyn came over and I panicked. I thought mama Karyn was leaving but I didn’t see her packing. I thought she was trying to trick me but Marilyn just visited. Phew!

Lots of stuff has been happening to the house. Karyn’s messy office is now in another room – it’s still messy. She told me I might not like the changes but we’ll have to wait and see. Lots of strangers have been here to fix or alter this or that.

Now back to counter surfing which is a hobby of mine. Last week, one of Karyn’s many friends – Ditte Lokon — came over and brought homemade span-a-ko-pita. Can you believe they sat there in front of me and ate them? Even though I SAT there politely and watched, nobody offered me a taste? How rude!

Then they rushed out. When Karyn rushes, she forgets stuff. She left a span-a-ko-pita in a Ziploc bag on the counter. I couldn’t open the bag so I chewed through it. Yum………..it was layers of buttery goodness.

The next day Karyn wanted to eat it for breakfast and she looked all over the refrigerator. She found remnants of the plastic bag on my dog bed and just shook her head. She’s not the only gourmand in the family.

Ta Ta for now

Love you, mean it

Lily, the Drama Queen

Tucson Greyhounds: All Breed Dog Wash Fundraiser 2009/09/09

Posted by greyhoundsrule in Greyhounds Rule/News.
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Calling all dirty dogs who want to cool off and be cleaned up for a greyt cause.

Arizona Greyhound Rescue hosts its second seasonal all breed dog wash on Sunday, September 13 from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. in the parking lot of Southern Arizona Veterinary & Emergency Specialists (SAVECS), located at 141 E. Ft. Lowell Road between 1st Avenue & Stone.

No appointment necessary. All dogs welcome; the dirtier the better.

Dog wash costs $10, nail trim $10 or $15 for both.

V-O-L-U-N-T-E-E-R-S  Wanted

Arizona Greyhound Rescue (AGR) seeks energetic volunteers 12 to 15 (accompanied by a parent) or 16 years and older to wash all breeds of dogs this Sunday, September 13 from 8:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. People doing community service hours are welcome.

The dog wash fundraiser raises money for AGR which finds adoptable homes for retired racing greyhounds.

Volunteers will help wash, dry, and groom all breeds of dogs and may also help with set up or take down pending hours worked. If you like dogs, don’t mind getting wet, having lots of fun, and eating free pizza and sodas…please volunteer. Shifts are 2 or 3 hours long depending on your energy level.

Respond via Craig’s List.

Greyhound dealing with foster fur kids 2009/09/07

Posted by beamergreyhound in Beamers Couch.
1 comment so far
What a summer!

June 2009: Boone moved in as a foster. Mom said she sensed that he was depressed at the kennel and he needed to go into a home. I liked Boone. Although he was a little quirky at first, he would run with me at the doggie park and we had a good time. After only a couple of days, Boone was no longer depressed and adjusted to home living very quickly. The guy was smart. Nailed that doggie door the first night. Never soiled the home nor did he chew on anything but a Nylabone. Mom was elated. After a couple of weeks, on his schedule, Boone would approach Mom for cuddles and kisses. Boone learned early on that I was the alpha dog when it comes to greyhounds and he was quite content to be numero dos. One smart hound. Four is a nice number: me, Ice, Daisie Mae and Boone. This was definitely doable.

Later that month, Boone’s sister, Izzy, moved in after her spay surgery, supposedly for a couple of days. Mom is such a mushball. She could not face returning Izzy to the kennel after her surgery because Izzy suffered with allergies and needed some special care. Now we’re up to 5.Training a female greyhound that I was the alpha is quite a challenge. She constantly ran to Mom with complaints about me being a dominant male. She was one cheeky female, but Mom mediated situations that arose, so we learned to live together amicably. Actually, Izzy turned out to be a good roommmate. She would let me chase her at the doggie park, and was not intimidated by my enthusiasm. Izzy stayed with us until a long-term foster guardian was available, and then she moved on.

July 2009: Boone found a fabulous permanent home so now we’re back to 3. This I liked. Sadly, Daisie Mae passed over the rainbow bridge shortly thereafter. She was a sweet dog, age 15, and had a good life with Mom, but Mom was a mess for three days. Crying jags and extra cuddles for me and Ice. I felt bad for her so gave her extra kisses, did not goose anyone that visited the house, and did not invade the trash conainer – this was a tough one because, Oh boy, do I love to check out the trash.

While I was happily adjusting to life in a smaller pack, in the middle of July, I’m suddenly introduced to Shadow and Nina: two terrier mix dogs that weigh no more than 21 lbs. How on earth does an 80 lb. grey play with these ankle biters? Mom explained that their stay was temporary while her girlfriend’s daughter was recovering from a severe vehicle accident. Shadow and Nina are what Mom calls Mr. & Mrs. They are seldom apart and Shadow will growl if another dog gets too close to Nina. However, his protective instinct has quelled over time as he realized that neither Ice nor I intended to hurt Nina. Shadow is one savvy pooch. He learned very quickly that Mom’s chaise – which is available to no one but her – was very comfortable, so it didn’t take long before he took ownership of this furniture when Mom was not around. So now we’re back to 4.

In late July, Alyse moves in while Marlene, her owner, goes on vacation for three weeks. Alyse and I hit it off immediately. She loves to run at the doggie park and I love to chase, so we were a great team. Now wer’re back to 5. One week later, I’m introduced to Apollo – a pomeranian pooch – and roommate of Alyse – that arrived along with his kennel. Mom said Apollo is alone for too long each day, so he’s moving in for a couple of weeks. Now we’re at 6! The kennel was tossed and Apollo mingled with the rest of us. While he had a reputation of using the home as his private bathroom, he only did this once while with us. It was funny to see me, Ice, Shadow and Nina charge through the doggie door with Apollo following. However, his little legs and small stature did not allow him to jump through the doggie door so Mom had to hoist him through. This worked, and he enjoyed time outside in the cool early morning and evenig hours. Never tried to play with this fluff ball – just thoroughly sniffed him and left him alone.

August 2009: Alyse and Apollo returned home and we’re back to 4. Or so I thought, but I was wrong. In late August, MimZy, a small terrier mix, came to stay for a week while her Mom, Cynthia, went on vacation. Now we’re 5. My God, will this never end? I live in a doggie motel. MimZy turned out to be a very sweet dog that schmoozed Mom and began sleeping on her bed and her chaise – and Mom allowed it! Ice didn’t care as long as MimZy did not sleep on his section of Mom’s bed, and I have commandeered Mom’s couch, so I guess that’s fair.

It’s now September 209. MimZy has gone home and we’re back to 4. But for how long, who knows. What a summer.



Inspirations: Am I Boring My Dog? Book 2009/09/06

Posted by greyhoundsrule in Greyhounds Rule/News.
Humorous Dog Book by Edie Jarolim

Humorous Dog Book by Edie Jarolim

Karyn Zoldan sat down with Frankie-the-dog to interview him about the new book which he recently inspired his companion to write.

KZ: Frankie, you’re pretty famous. Has it gone to your fluffy little head?

Frankie: I’m publicity shy — okay, shy period — so I’ve been hiding out in Tucson, avoiding the puparazzi. I’m not sure how I’ll deal with it if my YouTube video goes viral or we’re invited on Oprah.

KZ: Please tell me a little bit about your life before you came to Edie Jarolim’s house?
Frankie: I don’t like to talk about that. It’s hard to imagine how the people I was with could have abandoned me after I spent five years with them. I’m adorable — let’s face it — and housebroken. Not to mention extremely bright. What could I possibly have done so wrong as to make my people leave me to fend for myself on the streets of Tucson?

KZ: According to Jarolim, owning a dog inspired her to learn everything she could about dogs and to write a book – Am I Boring My Dog?   Are you ever bored?

Frankie: Well, you said it. She sits there at her computer and writes instead of scratching my tummy, feeding me, playing with me, and otherwise tending to my every need. Of course I’m bored sometimes, though I can always lick my privates to entertain myself. I admit she does take me on long walks and tosses my squeaky chile around with me quite often.
KZ: What is the book about? Why would everyone want to read it?

Frankie: It’s a guide, in the form of 100 questions and answers, for dog owners who are as clueless about dogs as Jarolim was when she first got me in 2004. People seem to think it’s very funny and informative. I would like it far better if it were liver flavored.

KZ: You have diabetes. What’s that like? What’s your regime?  Does it hurt?  What are your limitations, if any? Do you pee on strips of weird paper?  Sorry to be so graphic but inquiring minds want to know and canines aren’t usually hung up on urinary and scatological topics.

Frankie: Diabetes doesn’t hurt, if that’s what you’re asking — except for those darned insulin shots, which I’ll get to in a second. If my blood sugar goes up, I get pretty thirsty and have to pee more often than I used to have to.  Once I peed in bed — that’s how Jarolim knew I had a problem, because I’m generally a very self-controlled dog.

Here’s our routine: First thing in the morning, usually around 5 a.m., Jarolim follows me around the backyard with a kidney-shaped dish (pretty appropriate, ha) and collects my urine. I sometimes run to out-of-the-way places and try to pee against the fence so she can’t collect anything — it’s fun! — but she usually manages to get at least a few drops. Then we go into the house, where she puts on the microwave timer for 30 seconds and dips a strip of paper into the pee. It turns colors and she either cheers or curses depending on the shade.

Then she gives me my food — it’s high fiber, no grain, low fat. Getting my diet established was one of the key problems, and she’s always tinkering with it. While I’m eating she puts the insulin into the needle — slightly less if the color of the pee strips is light, more if it’s dark. I’ve taken to cringing to freak her out when I see the needle. It only hurts occasionally, but you never know when that’s going to be. Besides, she’s nicer to me and give me a better treat if  I look all pitiful and scared. I usually forget to do my cringing routine at night, though — which is why she decided I might be faking.

12 hours later we go through the same ritual again. It doesn’t bother me — we dogs like structure — and I think Jarolim is used to it, but at first it was difficult for her to get used to not being able to go out at certain times. I say she goes out too much anyway — going out any time without me is just wrong.

I don’t have any limitations except for my diet. In fact, I get longer walks than I used to because the vet said regular exercise is good for me. I’m a svelte 9 pounds now, down from 11.


KZ: I occasionally see you on KVOA channel 4 being interviewed. One day you were wearing a Hawaiian shirt and looked really buff. How did you get a TV gig?

Frankie: Connections. It’s who you know in this town, like it is everywhere. I got the gig because one of Jarolim’s friends was a friend of the producer. It didn’t hurt that Jarolim was a nationally-published travel writer — she wrote Arizona for Dummies, among other guidebooks, and had stories in magazines like National Geographic Traveler —  before she wised up and started writing about dogs. So it made sense for her to do a pet travel segment.

And, as you know, the camera loves me. I think Jarolim brings me along as a distraction, to keep her from worrying about what to wear. Who cares what she looks like when I’m all duded up in my Hawaiian shirt?

KZ: You’ve done a lot of interesting things in your life. What was it like to ride in a hot air balloon and spin into outer space?
Frankie: Jarolim told me not to tell but anyone who knows me knows I’m not really fond of car rides. Air travel? Fuggeduboudit! So it was all an illusion, done with smoke and mirrors — ok, I think they called it a green screen. My favorite part was that Jarolim was crouched down behind a table, holding my butt while these two other humans were filming me. Ha!

KZ: Do you have any advice for dogs and their companions to better enjoy life?

Frankie: You humans have an expression: Read my lips. Well, in our case, it’s read my body language. If my tail is between my legs, and I’m flicking my lips with my tongue, it means I’m nervous, get me out of this situation! If I growl, don’t shut me up; otherwise I’ll go straight to bite next time.

It’s not rocket science. Just learn a few cues. I mean, we’ve got to figure out your language to try to guess what the heck you want. You could learn some basics too.

Aside from that, all we dogs want is company, exercise, and, of course food that doesn’t contain crappy ingredients — corn byproducts, rotten stuff, chemicals like melamine…. — that can make us sick. Again, it’s not that complicated.
KZ: We’re all excited that the book is now for sale a/o September 1.  Are you doing any local book signings?  How can people buy the book?
Frankie: Well, both of us are going to be on stage on September 10 at the Hotel Congress as part of the Odyssey Storytelling series. The show starts at 7 p.m. I’m afraid Jarolim won’t have any books on hand but she’s going to give everyone the poop — ha, ha! — on how the book came to be written.

And if people order on line from the Amazon link of Jarolim’s blog, they get a good price and she gets a few more pennies (literally).

But the first formal signing — and a hugely fun event, which will include a raffle to benefit the Southern Arizona Humane Society, is on September 18 at Loews Ventana Canyon Hotel. From 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. there’ll be a Yappy Cocktail Hour, and Jarolim will walk around, schmoozing and signing books. Then from 7 to 8 p.m. there’ll be a more formal reading/Q & A. Dogs are welcome to both! Yes, you read that right. No more species-ist exclusion!

KZ: Anything else you want your adoring public to know?
Frankie: Please adore me from at a distance at first, and when you approach me do it carefully. Yes, we’ve established that I’m cute and I know it’s tough to resist petting me. But you don’t like to be touched without permission, do you?


Tucson:Greyhound Mix Rescued-Buy a Bracelet 2009/09/02

Posted by greyhoundsrule in Beading Divas to the Rescue, Fundraising.
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I saw there was a greyhound mix sitting on death row at the Pima Animal Care Center (PACC). I contacted Arizona Greyhound Rescue (AGR) and asked if they would take this dog. My promise was that the Beading Divas would sell 25 bracelets ($500) and donate the money to AGR for the care of this petite greyhound mix.

Charm: greyhound mix rescued from PACC

Charm: greyhound mix rescued from PACC

AGR complied.

I dubbed the dog “Charm” because our one-of-a-kind beaded bracelets come with either a sterling silver greyhound charm or a paw print charm.

Charm has the greyhound physique and face but is smaller than a greyhound. She was confiscated from her previous residence because of abuse. Charm was literally three hours away from being euthanized. Maybe her nickname should be “Lucky Charm.”

Charm is in foster care with my sister and she will be fattened up because now she is a bag of bones. She seems tolerant of all kinds of animals and is not a cat-chaser. She loves stuffies and is already playing with toys and with the other dogs. Charm really likes children and is an all around great girl.

Charm is saved. She is one lucky dog.

                                          ~~~~Written by Diva Lizzie~~~~

Greyhound Revolt 2009/09/02

Posted by beamergreyhound in Beamers Couch.

Calling on all greyhounds under 6 years of age. This is a revolution by fur kids against Moms who buy us orthopedic beds, implying that we’re old. I’m outraged. Here’s what happened.

Mom left for a dental appointment and various and sundry shopping chores around 10:00 a.m. this morning – September 3 2009. Around 2:15 p.m., and I might add, one hour late for my second meal, she breezes in the door, all smiles, carrying this large square-shaped doggie bed. “Beamer, this is your new bed.” Mm, a new bed? We have at least eight doggie beds in the house, why do I need a new one . The two I sleep on are very satisfactory, thank you very much. Mom picks up my two favorite doggie beds and replaces them with this ‘thing.’ Never asked me what I felt or thought, just dumped the ‘thing’ in my space alongside her bed. Well I fixed her plan. I plopped down on the doggie bed on the other side of her bed. At least it smelled familiar, though Ice, my doggie roommate was not pleased.

“Hey, that’s my bed.”

A little doggie negotiation was in order.

“Look Ice, you usually sleep with Mom on her bed, so I’m really not infringing on your turf, don’t you agree?”
“No, this bed is my back-up and I want you off and I want you off now.”
“And you’re gonna make me move? Please, I weigh 80 lbs and you weigh 32 lbs.”
“I may be smaller than you, but I’m pretty feisty when you really piss me off. You’re all bark and no action. I’m not so much bark, but plenty action, so  move it.”
“I’ll tell Mom.”
“She already knows and she’s done nothing.”
“How wrong you are. Check out your side of her bed.”
“Oh, please, she’s put one of my beds on top of this intruder bed thinking I won’t know the difference. GET A GRIP.  I have great eyesight and better than nomral smell abillity, and I refuse to sleep on a bed that states it’s an orthoedic bed for older greyhounds. How insulting.”
“How did you know it was an orthpedic bed?”
“I looked over her shoulder when she was emailing people on how thrilled she was to find this bed. As far as I’m concerned, she can sleep on the damned thing and I’ll sleep on her bed.”
“This will never happen. I’m the only dog allowed on her bed, and I will make sure this routine stays in place. Don’t challenge me Beamer, ‘cos I’ll bust your chops and hurt you.”

I have to think about this. Although I’m much larger than Ice, he can get pretty aggressive if he feels he’s being pushed around and frankly, I’m not sure I could win the battle. Sure, I would injure the little guy, but the little guy could also injure me.  I’m not into pain, and Mom doesn’t need any vet bills, so I’m still strategizing on how to handle this situation.

So, Mom is working on the computer. I’m laying on Ice’s back-up bed watching Mom and wondering how is she going to resolve this protest. I know she’s aware of my disdain, but she is trying to ignore it, thinking that, come bed time, I will comply and sleep on this geriatric bed. Not gonna happen.

Greyhounds unite. Back me up here. Do you think I should sleep on the orthopedic bed covered with one of my favorite doggie beds, or should I continue my protest and sleep on Ice’s back-up bed knowing that he’s one feisty pooch and will not back down when his ire is up?

Place your bets as to who wins this war! Will Ice back down? Will Mom flex her Alpha authority and remove all beds but the ‘thing’ and force me to sleep on this thing?  If you were my Mom, what would you do? H E L P!


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