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Greyhound Humor: Drama Queen Ups and Downs 2009/06/27

Posted by greyhoundsrule in Drama Queen.
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Drama Queen loves to accessorize

Drama Queen loves to accessorize

Aye yii yii

What a few weeks I’ve had.

First, I was a bad girl. I ate the tongue of mama Karyn’s shoes. They were the stinky shoes. I chewed and chewed the tongue. Why? I don’t know. Maybe because they smelled like a stinky mama Karyn.

Then I threw up yellow bile off and on for several days.  Mama Karyn kept finding pieces of the chewed up shoe tongue and threw them in the waste basket and I went into the wastebacket and chewed more. 

I drove Mama Karyn nuts!

Then I had some leg problems. I am suffering from spinal stenosis. My back legs shake and splay.

One day I was in my favorite spot in the cubby between Karyn’s bathroom and her office. I couldn’t get up. My leg slid under the closet door and I was stuck. I cried out and Karyn came running. She had to climb into the cubby (she was saying too many bad words) and lift me up. She tried to put a towel underneath me and as she lifted me up, I was screaming. When I finally got up I was fine.

Now she blocked off the cubby so I cannot lie there.

The next day I couldn’t get off the cool bedroom floor. Again my back legs were shaking. She helped me up again. My back legs splayed.

By then she was a nervous wreck.

She took me for my monthly acupuncture and cold laser therapy treatment and I feel fine now.

I have searched all over for more shoe tongues but found none.

One day I was sitting on my dog bed in the bedroom and I found Karyn’s pretty beaded sandals. If she didn’t leave her shoes in the middle of the room and instead put them in closet like a neatnik, these things wouldn’t happen.  Anyway, I was holding her shoes between my paws marveling at how pretty they were and wondering if the beads tasted good when I was BUSTED.

She came into the bedroom and found me. She said, “OH MY DOG. What are you doing? You are a bad, bad, bad girl!”

Then she grabbed the sandal away from me and put them away.  

I just gave her a dumb look.

Love ya, mean it

Lily, the greyhound drama queen

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